Happy Birthday Evil Kitten

Seven years ago I was single, living in a condo all alone, and dating like a fiend. Like.a.fiend. and having zero luck finding a decent dude. Seven years ago I would call my best friend daily, crying my eyes out over how lonely I felt. Seven years ago I was 27 years old and thought I knew what the hell I was doing with my life. I still don’t know in some (a lot of) ways. Seven years ago I decided to rescue a kitty cat. I scouted the animal shelter week after week looking for a calico kitten. One lonely Friday night after work I decided to look one last time before shelving the idea altogether. I walked through the door that led to aisles of cats waiting to be adopted and there she was; the smallest, most adorable calico kitten I had ever seen. Her eyes were infected so the shelter vet had put ointment all over her little kitty eyelids. She couldn’t see so she was stumbling like a drunk around her kennel. To this day it breaks my damn heart to recall this image. Sweet little stumbling kitten. Seven years later I have a cat from hell. She’s the bitchiest, moodiest cat on the face of the earth but goddamnit she stole my heart. Her name is Diva. Oh so fitting.

When my husband and I started dating, Diva would sneak-attack from behind when he was sitting in a chair and bat him on his bald head. I’m pretty sure Diva was almost a deal-breaker for my husband. Now they have a love-hate relationship. Scott prefers to call it a hate-hate relationship. We’re convinced she has a stockpile of dead bodies hidden around the house. But every once in a while we see a glimpse of love in her cold kitten heart.

For the rest of her kitty life I will probably be the only person allowed to exist in her world, pet her, or look at her. Since animals and humans co-exist so closely I think it’s only slightly cheesy to say that Diva has taught us how to love the prickly hearted, the weirdos, and the grumpy old men. A day without hearing a hiss from Diva is the day hell freezes over. But we love her to dang pieces just the way she is.

Scott texted this photo yesterday and said, ‘glamour shot’. This is Diva through and through. I swear we did not stage the photo. She would hiss at me if I touched her arm. Sorry it’s blurry. She probably made it that way with her evil stare.

Happy Birthday evil kitty. We look forward to many more years of hissing, clawing, drawing blood, and batting. Oh, and puking on the carpet even though 90% of our house is wood floor. That’s always convenient.

Animals really are the best.

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8 Responses to Happy Birthday Evil Kitten

  1. cathyo says:

    Cats are the best. Too funny. Happy g’day to your Diva!

  2. My brother’s cat (also mischievous) likes to ‘sneak attack’ our calves when we are walking down the hall. He tried it with my three legged dog once, she growled something fierce and he never tried that again with her. My parent’s dog on the other hand is a pushover. He just play attacks her whenever she wags her fluffy tail and she just stares at him like he’s a crazy dude (which he is).

    Whenever I visit my brother, my dog and his cat have a mutual ‘respect’ for one another. Animals are too funny!

  3. Great picture! We have a cat in the family that moans and gripes anytime you look at her. My husband is the only one who can hold her and love her up…which he does, as if he is holding an infant. I think they both like rubbing it in our unworthy faces.

  4. Sophie33 says:

    A great shot! I loce cats too! My parents had 3 of them & they were the best!

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