In My Crossfit Shirt

Whenever I’m feeling lazy I think about all of the kick ass athletes who, well, kick ass. I’ll think, “I don’t feel like running”, but the voice in my head will say, “did you hear about the guy who runs 50 marathons in 50 days?”, and then I’m like, “shit. you have no excuse”. So the other day I thought it might be more badass if I ran to Crossfit and back. That’s 6 miles round-trip. Now every time I drive to the gym I’m like, ‘you lazy ass’. The inspiration game never ends! Wheeee! (I am aware this is something that might need to be addressed in therapy. I’m a therapist, remember? I’m all sorts of not normal!)

The United States is on fire. I heard on the news there are 54 fires burning in the USA as we speak. Don’t buy fireworks. Don’t smoke. Don’t even pick up a match or rub sticks together, ok? Kids, put away your magnifying glasses. Leave the leaves alone (hey, did you see what I did there??). Update: as I’m typing this post the neighborhood kids are lighting firecrackers outside. I’m about to make some kids very unhappy.

I almost didn’t go running today because I’m so fast the friction on the bottom of my shoes might throw sparks in to a dry field of grass. Laugh, sigh, laugh, I’m kidding. But I wonder if that happens to Marathon Mike? Anyway I did run today and wore one of my Crossfit shirts. I think I found the key to kicking ass at your workout and losing weight: wear Crossfit shirts 24/7! There’s an expectation when you’re working out that you have to be like, superhuman in your Crossfit shirt. So during my run today at the park I was like, “Eff walking. I can’t walk. I’m wearing a Crossfit shirt!!” And if you wear it to the grocery store you can’t buy shitty food! You’re wearing a Crossfit shirt! You can’t sit on the couch and drink beer! You’re wearing a Crossfit shirt!

It’s so hot outside I can’t eat anything over 70 degrees right now. Doesn’t this green smoothie look like it’s about to dominate my face? It totally did. In my Crossfit shirt.

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4 Responses to In My Crossfit Shirt

  1. Soooo…. what does the Crossfit t-shirt look like?!? :)

  2. Kia says:

    I think I might need a Crossfit t-shirt, although I do not cross-fit:)

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